If you don’t recognize this quote, it comes from the first Legally Blonde Movie. And all this week, mostly today, I’ve been reminded of it.
In context, I’ve kind of been running around preparing to apply for graduation. I had to stop by and pick up the actual form. And I’m just looking over going “I have the requirements. Why am I doing this? I don’t want to do this. But I have to.” – and you can probably imagine from there what my thought process kind of was.
After that, I have to get both my advisor for my major (who I see at least once a semester to keep me on track with what I need anyways), and my minor advisor (who I don’t see nearly as much, but didn’t have a choice in the matter) to sign off saying I have the requirements or that I’m going to finish them off in the spring. You get the idea.
And along the way I have people telling me “congratulations.” … and I keep thinking of that line “What? Like it’s hard?”
… But then I remember that heck yes it’s been hard. I’ve spent 12+ hours days on campus (This semester is definitely no exception). I’ve had semesters filled with classes that made my brain hurt to the point where I could no longer think (and no, Lit Theory has not been the only class to do that to me). Right about now, the senioritis is setting in just a bit. Not because I don’t love what I do, but because I’m sick of it. I never thought I’d see the day when I’d be sick of what I love, although oddly enough I still love reading for pleasure, but the digging deep for meanings and explanations are just leaving me a bit rough around the edges.
It’s leaving me a little war torn from all the thinking. I may not have chosen the biggest school, or the fanciest. I didn’t choose my college for the partying experience. I choose it because it was close to home and a heck of a lot cheaper. But that doesn’t mean my profs weren’t wonderful or pushed me past my limits. In fact, they did that and more, sometimes even leaving me in tears.
I still wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. In May, I get to walk across the stage and go “I. DID. IT. I SURVIVED” – amidst the people saying I wouldn’t (because yeah, that happened) and the “what’s an English degree going to get you?” question.
This being said, the future definitely still scares me. But for right now I’ve taken the first step into coming into that future. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is actually pretty exciting.