I’m Not Who I Was

I love the saying that the title of this post comes from. It also makes for one of my favorite songs. And I’ve been changing a lot lately, more than I ever thought possible. Mostly, it’s changes I never saw coming until they actually came to passt.

There was the fun over spring break: babysitting, bowling, and the ever favorite staying out until all hours of the morning. These things sound simple, but it’s weird for me to practically run out of the house to be with people. I normally don’t want to be around people let alone getting out of the house as fast as possible to be with them. But it turned out fun, anyways.

But the other changes…

Last Thursday I went to my first school dance. Ever. In the history of junior high through college, it was my first dance. Last semester and I went to my first dance. It was um… interesting to say the least. A new experience. A new one that I surprisingly liked. I survived for two hours without asking to leave. Two hours may seem like a small achievement, but for me? It’s a huge step forward.

That’s not even the good part. I danced the SWING with a random stranger. I’ve had dance class this semester, and I was actually pretty grateful that I got to put my new “skills” to use. It’s not like I’ll ever be an expert or anything but it felt nice to practice in public. The great thing about this is that I’m not a huggy touchy feely person. So I consider dancing a win.

Change. Comes on the wind. While I’m happy I’ve made some changes… I don’t know where they come from. I don’t know what I’m becoming. I’m not even sure I like the new met yet. I’m so used to the old me that my new me scares me. I’m not a fan of change, see?

But it’s inevitable, and so it comes. Every day. Even when I don’t like it.


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