“Denial. It’s not just a river in Egypt. It’s a huge freaking ocean.” — Meredith, Grey’s Anatomy
It’s never good when I start a blog off with a Grey’s quote. It’s just…not.
I feel like I should be apologizing for my lack of writing these days. But at the same time, I haven’t had much time. Someone invented finals so the past few weeks have been… tough. Toss in a side of graduation and things have gotten 10x harder. As the title indicates, the last of everything is officially here. There is no more surrealism. The finality is real. But if anyone asks, I have the biggest case of denial right about now. It doesn’t matter that my cap and gown are sitting at home, waiting to be worn.
Maybe if I don’t do my final papers, things won’t happen? I can wish, right? So, no. The papers are still being done. They’re being done a bit shoddily but I’m ambivalent at this point and just want out, even with a case of denial sitting on my shoulder. If that makes sense. I want to be done but at the same time the future still looms, just a bit closer this time.
Last Thursday I made my final trek through campus before finals. It was late at night when I left with my friends. The buildings glowed this eerie glowing green from the windows. Sound a bit creepy? Well, it can be, but it can be comforting too. There’s that kind of comfort knowing that if all else fails the buildings can help show the way. It was late at night and I said goodbye to a building for what should be the last time. I’m not going back unless I have to.
That means that this weeks is what is commonly known as finals. I shouldn’t be blogging, but anything to keep me away from doing what I’m supposed to be doing, okay? Let me foster the denial for a few minutes more.
Cap and Gown: picked up. Commencement outfit: done. Grad party invites: I’m working my way through getting those out. I’ts happening. It’s really happening. Denial or not. And it doesn’t matter if I’m ready, because the world awaits, ready or not.
Check back in the next… 8 days or so for more fun/freaking out posts. I’m sure they’ll be entertaining.